Last Kiss
by JacobsBeyondSortOfBeautiful
Summary: Leah had no idea that the last kiss she gave Sam, would actually be their last kiss. Having a hard time dealing with the breakup she remembers what they had. Song fic inspired by Taylor Swift.


**AN: In case it isn't obvious to you after reading, this is a songfic inspired by Taylor Swift's "Last Kiss." I just watched BD Part 1 tonight for the second time and I noticed how sad and lonely Leah's character seemed in the movie. The scene on the beach where she spoke about imprinting nearly broke my heart. It inspired me to write her a one-shot in the sad and lonely perspective as opposed to the bitchy attitude I've become used to giving her. Ironically enough a really sad and lonely song popped up on my iTunes as I was thinking of where to go with the fic I won't be posting lyrics because I personally find it annoying to read a fic and have lyrics tossed in the middle as I'm getting into the story. So give the song a listen or go read the lyrics. The song is just as beautiful as it is sad. **_  
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**In this fic, she wonders what went wrong in her relationship with Sam. One day she kisses him goodbye casually and the next time she sees him, he's dumping her for Emily. She hasn't turned wolf yet, and she knows nothing of the imprint. All she knows is what they had was real, and she can't see how Sam just walked away from it.**

**Sorry for rambling. As always, happy reading!**

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_You walked me home late one night. I was drunk. I was with Paul and his douchebag crew of invalids. I was all broken up about my high school sweetheart, Alan Saunders, turning out to be a two timing bastard. Make that four timing. Paul promised to show me a good time and help me to feel better about the breakup. He was supposed to patch me up, make it better. So when he handed me beer after beer after beer, I trusted it to work its magic. It made me feel progressively worse until all I could think of was how **not** okay it was to be around them. They all tried to sleep with me. But you came and you saved me. You made me better._

_When we got to my front door I was so afraid that when you left, all the hurt would come back to fill your void. I drunkenly pleaded with you to stay with me; at least until I fell asleep. _

_You were skeptical at first that my father would discover you in my bedroom at this ungodly hour and thoroughly greet you with his hunting gun in tow. I laughed at your paranoia. I promised you it would be alright. I stumbled through the threshold of my front door and you followed me in, against your better judgment, to make sure I didn't completely screw things up for myself. I giggled as we walked through the foyer, down the hallway, and into my bedroom. You followed me inside my room and stood around awkwardly at the door . I beckoned you to my bed and you nervously climbed in next to me as if I would crumble like a house of cards if you so much as grazed any part of my skin. I laughed again at your anxiety. But then things got quiet and I was left to my thoughts._

_"Sam, what if you hadn't showed up?" I asked you, fearful of the possibilities. You just held me in your big arms, no longer too frightened to get close to me. It was like you went into Superman mode. You wrapped me like a blanket. I felt so safe with you. I was crying. Not so much for the lingering sting of that breakup, or even for my time spent with Paul and his goons, but because you smelled so good. At least that's what drunk Leah was thinking at the time._

_You smelled of oak trees and barbecues and everything that was good in the world. It was perfect and I didn't want it to ever be over. So, unable to contain my overemotional and drunken self, I cried into your chest. Assuming that I was still upset over Alan ,you shushed me, stroked my hair, and reminded me of everything that jerk had given up. You said that I was beautiful and strong. I remember looking up and into your face, half lit in the darkness by the moonlight that had barely crept its way in through the window. I saw something in your eyes that I had always known was there. I saw your love and adoration. Though I never thought about it much, I had always known it was there in the way you looked at me. Somehow. You whispered your sweet words into my hair and I was renewed._

_I looked over your shoulder at my alarm clock. 1:58 AM. That was the exact time of our very first kiss. You told me you loved me. You said you had always loved me from when we were just in preschool and you were stealing all of my crayons because you had broken most of yours. You said you loved me from day one; whenever that was._

_You admitted so much to me that night and I always felt like you were hoping I was so drunk that I would forget it all the next day. A girl never forgets the first time she falls in love, you had to know that. _

Just to think that a short while ago I had a fiance. A man who I loved whole heartedly, and a man who loved me just as fiercely. And now I have nothing. I have nothing to hold onto, nothing to care about, and nothing to live for. How is it possible that you took my entire world away with just a few short words. You're in love with Emily now. Just thinking her name brings me a whole new heartache.

_I remember the first time I had ever spent more than a day away from you. My parents sent Seth and I away to a sports camp for two weeks one July while they were away on a cruise to celebrate their anniversary. I suffered two whole weeks without you. What kept me functioning was always the reminder that you were home waiting for me to come back. If I took it day by day, I'd be back in your arms in no time._

_As soon as the plane touched down I ran off toward the terminal. I knew you were waiting for me. I didn't stop running until my body smashed into your chest. I didn't stop until there was nothing separating me from you; not even the air. I felt your heartbeat rapping against my ear as I took in your smell. It was practically jumping through your shirt. If I close my eyes I can still feel the flutter throughout my entire body as you held me in your arms. _

I feel so pathetic. You're more than likely sharing a bed with her now, while I'm sitting on the floor, back against the wall, in your old football jersey. I just can't figure out how we ended things like this. I know I didn't imagine these last three years. They were real. We were real.

It's been so long since I actually tried to stop these tears from free falling.

"Sam," I barely whisper, because, little by little each day saying it has become some form of taboo. Saying it makes it all the more real to me. There's a reason for these tears.

You've turned me into a ghost of myself. I look the same, only hollow on the inside. Vacant. I find myself watching you from a distance every chance I have. At any given opportunity, where I can just see you for a moment, I take every advantage. I'm in attendance at every event, whether I was invited or not. Now I go to parties only to lurk in corners, and bonfires on the beach just to sit alone absently messing around with the sand. I used to hate social gatherings. You know that more than anyone.

_That didn't stop you from throwing my surprise 18th birthday party. You insisted that it was the big one-eight and I had to do it up. I reluctantly agreed to try to enjoy it. I was secretly loving every moment of it because you never left my side. I couldn't exactly be miserable and have you next to me simultaneously. The two things just didn't go together. _

_One of my favorite songs came on and you pulled me up to dance. The whole rez knows I'm a terrible dancer, yet you still dragged me to the dance floor. My resistance did nothing to shake your resolve. You began to do a stupid dance in circles around me to put my mind at ease at the fact that I wouldn't be the only one making a fool of themselves. As irritated as I was, I couldn't keep from laughing. The song changes to something slower paced and you wordlessly ask me for my hand and I obliged, rolling my eyes. You did most of the work, pushing me, pulling me, twirling me. I hated dancing. But dancing with you that night made me forget why. _

I remember every special moment we ever had, even the not so special ones. I remember you shaking hands with my father at the very first family dinner he invited you to. I remember the way you always walked with your hands in your pockets, unless you were holding mine. I remember our very first fight was resolved because you kissed me in the middle of screaming match, and suddenly I forgot what it was you had done to piss me off. I remember when you proposed to me on the beach in front of everyone. That was the first time I wasn't ashamed to let the whole rez see me cry. You made me the happiest woman in all of Washington. In all the world. I miss you so much. I miss it all. There's not a day that goes by that I don't.

I sit idly by and watch you live your life. I watch you live without me happily like I used to watch you sleep at night. I can feel the loss of you deep down to my bones. I can feel you forgetting me more each day like I used to feel your breath against my neck as you hugged me from behind. I'm even talking to people who I would otherwise ignore. if it wasn't for the fact that they were indirectly filling me in on everything that I'm missing out on in your life. I let go of the hope that you would come back to me, and more than anything I hope that you're happy where you are.

But I also hope that when the sun is shining bright and you and Emily go out for a nice walk through the park, you walk past the benches and remember the way we used to kiss on them for hours on end. And whenever you get into your car you remember making love to me in the back seat. I hope it all haunts you the way it haunts me.

This was something I could never have prepared for. I didn't know you were going to change your mind.

If I would have ever thought that our last kiss would be our _**last kiss**_, I would have made it count. If I had known that when I kissed you goodbye I was actually saying goodbye to our relationship, I might have filled it with all the love that's pulsating through me so that you'd have been reminded. Maybe you would have come back to me. I just never thought we'd have a last kiss at all.


End file.
